Angela Ryan
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Re:Lost for words... - 2009/06/03 17:45
Hello Nic, and all that have taken the time to read my entries. I was encouraged to keep posting, as venting may help? Trinity's situation is dramatically deteriorating. It is the sadest, worst thing, I think I will ever encounter, but there is nothing I can do about it. On Saturday 30th May, we had a fundraiser "Tea with Trinity", and around 160 people attended, and for most of those 160, they said goodbye, and Trinity with all her dignity and courage, sat poised, beautiful, and did not shed a tear, however she to me, counselled those people, and told them it was going to be ok. Amazing, and inspirational, and that she is, my best friend. However, Monday, 1st June, I admitted her, back into hospital, as pain is increasing, and medication needed to be adjusted. At 31 years young, we are now down to weeks. This disease, is amazing the doctors at the pace it is going through her body, and before my eyes, I'm losing her, even though I feel I have already lost her. Sadness fills my heart 24/7, and the end is so close, but no easier to deal with. She gave me in true Trin fashion, a big talking to, saying "acceptance" is what I need to have. My anger needs to be put in a bubble, and thrown away. She was very cranky at me for being angry, but do you blame me. Her poor little boy will never know her, it just breaks my heart. Anyway, enough for today. Off to the hospital, to inhale as much of her wonderfulness as I can. I love her, and will be lost without her. xo
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