My Story begins as my life was falling apart. I remember driving home from dropping the kids off at school and thinking that if this is it and this is all I have to look forward to as I enter into my mid 40s then I give up.

The following day I received a phone call from my doctor’s office asking me to come in as soon as possible. I replied “next week is good.”

“No I think you need to come in now,” the receptionist urged.

“Oh, so the news is not good,” I said.

“No it’s not,” the receptionist explained, “but I think you should speak to the doctor.”

My doctor informed me that the results of my test were in, and that the melanoma had been left long enough without diagnosis to have become a level four, adding that at this point it doesn’t get any worse.

He recommended that I see a specialist and have it removed. The specialist would also be able to trace the lymph glands and remove them at the same time as the mole/melanoma.

Did I really want to give up? Was I really sick of the day to day humdrum? That was the question flowing through my head as I sat in the doctor’s surgery. I think I stopped listening to him - I blocked him out.

I was in shock.

Meeting with the specialist was not very helpful as the prognosis was not at all encouraging. I was left with a bunch of statistics that did not impress me at all. A 56 per cent chance of survival was not good enough in my estimation. I was also informed that if the melanoma travels to any internal organs there was very little that modern medicine could do for me.

The last words my wife and I heard from the doctor were ‘go home and be happy, because happy people have a better chance of survival’.

Surgery was organised and it was with great expectation that the end result would be that the melanoma was confined to the primary and not have spread.

The recovery all seems a bit of a blur now. I know I returned home and waited for the results on the lymph surgery. The call finally came. The doctor informed me that all the margins on the primary were clear. However there was some evidence of specks in twoof the three lymph nodes removed

Time to go into shock again.

Anyone who gets any sort of cancer spreading to the lymph nodes is in trouble. I broke down and certainly did not want my children to see me. I threw the phone to my wife and made an exit to the back door. The night was calm and I cried out to my God: “I don’t want to give up. I do want to live. I love my wife, I love my children. I really don’t want to give up”.

It is amazing the way friends and family came out of the woodwork to support and encourage me. There are a lot of people who are also quick to tell you about their friend or relative that had melanoma and how quickly it killed them, which is hardly encouraging.

The next visit to the hospital involved complete removal of lymph nodes under my left arm pit. Great fun… not! All the rest were clear - yee ha.

One of the most touching moments whilst recovering was when I was laying in bed feeling sore and sorry. I found my six-year-old daughter holding the spot where my original mole was removed. I asked her what she was doing.

She replied calmly, “I am giving you some of my energy daddy so you will get better.”

Priceless.

I decided to not give up and really grab life by the horns. That is where for me the healing begins not of body but of the spirit. It has been an amazing journey and it’s not over yet. I continue to rely on the strength gained from seeking happiness, peace sharing the love gained from being a husband, father, uncle, brother & friend. I believe that one of the main ways for me coping is to spend time meditating and seeking peace of heart no matter what.

Life really is short, it should be treasured on a daily basis. Will it be a truck, cancer, old age, armed robbery, collapsed mine? No-one knows it really is out of our control. Take the days and nights given, strive to love and appreciate it for what it is worth.

By Herman Herlaar